Sally slow pants

The freeway has multiple lanes for a reason. If you are going 10 MPH under the speed limit and you're in the fast lane, I will ride your bumper. Do us all a favor and move to the slow lane. In case you are REALLY clueless, the slow lane is the FAR RIGHT one.

Auto tune much??!!

If you want to be a singer and have talent GO FOR IT!!! If you want to be a singer and are semi-okay at it take some lessons and GO FOR IT! If you want to be a singer and have ABSOLUTELY NO TALENT...... DO NOT tell your parents to pay $4,000 for a song and a video which will be AWFUL!!!!!!!! Oh honey please find a new hobby. I know you have multiple talents but singing about Friday, Friday, Friday is NOT one of them.

Just so ya know.....

Big girls who wear tube tops, bikinis, tight clothing and anything else that is made for petite peeps...
~ dang you look nasty. And that is coming from me who is a very big girl. I am all about embracing your body, be comfortable in your skin but WOW! We don't need to see it. COME ON.... At least try to show you have class AND confidence.

Stores that sell said clothing(above)
~ if you can buy it at the 5.7.9 store you should not sell it in your store. I love Lane Bryant, Deb, Gap, and Torrid, but seriously.... big beautiful women like me do not need to see those things in your store and think that they are acceptable to wear in PUBLIC!! Love yourself and your body but please help spread the class around.

Just so ya know.....

"Share on Facebook" button for your toolbar

I was browsing the web and found a news article that I really wanted to share with a friend via facebook message. On my old laptop, I had a "Share on Facebook" button that I snagged and dropped into my toolbar when the "share" feature first came out. At the time, facebook offered the button openly and it was pretty easy to find and drag and drop into your tool bar.

This makes things so quick and easy! If you're reading an article or come across a page or a picture or something on amazon or WHATEVER and it doesn't have a facebook share button (or, in my case earlier today, the page/article/picture/etc. only has a fb "like" button), you can still easily share it by clicking this button in your bookmarks bar while you're on the page. So. Nice. (I mean, who wants to copy and paste a URL and then have to go to facebook to post something every single time you find an item of interest! Sometimes you just wanna share it and be on your way, am I right?)

I have a new computer that use now and I've found myself a little frustrated trying to find the code for the "Share on Facebook" button I had on my old laptop. Every google search has me downloading a share button for a webpage--but I don't want it for a webpage!! I just want it for my bookmarks bar! Then a thought occurred to me: "Duh. Just go get the share button URL from the other laptop..." (which I, luckily, still have...I just don't really use it very much anymore)

So I did. I decided to share the info on here in case there are others who are pulling their hair out trying to find the same info!

If you would like to add a "Share on Facebook" button to your bookmarks bar, simply drag and drop the link below into your bookmarks bar!

Share on Facebook

Happy sharing everyone!!

It's all in the spoon

When I started feeding my son baby food, I went in search for some good baby spoons. I was surprised by how many options there were! I found some spoons that, I thought, looked awesome. The spoon and part of the handle are made of a soft, flexible silicone. Great! The thought behind buying them was that they would be soft and comfortable for my son to eat with. That turned out to be true. However, they were so soft that I had almost no control over the spoon, which made for pretty messy meal times.

I thought it was just lack of experience (on both our parts). My mom suggested I use a sturdier spoon and I was willing to try anything if it meant a cleaner baby and a cleaner high chair. I went out and bought some simple, cheap plastic spoons.

MAGIC! Mealtime mess has been cut down by at least 90%.

Gabriel really doesn't care what spoon I use as long as there's food on it! So for you new or soon-to-be mothers out there, take heed! The flexible silicone spoons are not worth the time, money, or frustration!

A solution to fill'er up woes...

Okay, so I didn't know this until last summer when my brother pointed it out to me....

Have you ever pulled up to the gas station and thought "Uhhh....wait--what side is my tank on again?" Everyone has done it. Don't kid yourself. Whether it's in your own car or you were driving someone else's car, we've all had one of those little brain farts. This happened to me last summer when I bought a new car. I was going for a spin with my brother and realized that I needed to fill up. Having never put gas in the car before, I had a pretty legitimate excuse to not know which side to pull up to. So what do we all do? Try to see if we can tell by looking in one of the side mirrors. If that doesn't work, you gotta open the door and lean out to check. I have news for you! You will never have to do that ever again!

You know where the little picture of a gas pump is in your dash next to the gas gauge? There is a little triangle/arrow pointing to the side that your gas tank is on. Yeah. It's that simple. Maybe this is something everyone has known for years (I doubt that because I see confused people at the gas station all the time!) but I felt like it was something that needed to be brought to light.

As you can see in this picture, the tank is on the RIGHT side in  this car...

I hope I have made a difference in the world now.

Hose off those smudges...

If you get that ever-annoying deodorant spot/smear on your shirt after pulling it on, there is a simple solution. (I didn't know that people didn't know this....) Just grab some nylons/pantyhose and rub the deodorant spot with it/them. It will go away. It's that simple! So save your ripped, snagged, holy pantyhose ladies! They can still serve a purpose!! This little tip totally saved me when I did the *cough* pageant  a few (million) years ago. Why was I wearing white stick deodorant that day/night with all of the known "costume" changes ahead of me? I don't know. 

Bottom line--this totally works!!

Beware stall number one...

When using a public restroom, always skip the first stall if possible. There is always some weird, nasty crap goin' on in that stall. Always. Best to avoid those crazy shennanigans all together.

Marriage is For ADULTS, people...

If you're not old enough to drink at your wedding, you shouldn't be getting married--you're WAY too young. I don't care if you drink or not. If it's illegal for you to do basic things that will become legally available to you later in life, you're too effing young to get married. You're being young and dumb. No, you DON'T know what love is, and no you DON'T know what you want out of life or even who exactly you are. Don't be stupid.

With the above being said, I believe that the Four Season Rule should always be followed at LEAST. Always. If not more. (The Four Season Rule: you must date the person for at least four consecutive seasons before getting married. The only seasons that count are Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall. No exceptions.) Getting engaged and married in less than that amount of time is irresponsible and unreasonable. If you love each other enough and in the right way, marriage can wait. Your relationship should be able to survive any amount of time. If you feel the need to get married in a shorter amount of time, you're probably getting married for the wrong reason(s). Admit it.

It's never a good idea to wear a blue shirt to Wal*Mart. Even more so--a blue shirt with tan pants. Other shoppers WILL mistake you for an employee. Even if you don't have a name tag--they will just assume you're on your break or off the clock, but they're customers and they're rude and inconsiderate and whether you're on the clock or not it's ALWAYS your job to help them. This rule also goes for wearing red at Target.

"You snore in your sleep." 


"No I don't!!" 


Shut up. You don't know--you're ASLEEP for hell's sake.

Put down the keychain/shot glass/snow globe and waalllk awaaayyyy...

Souvenirs are almost always an impractical waste of money. You buy some stupid junk, give it to someone (or keep it, you selfish bastard), and then it either sits on a shelf and collects dust or it gets chucked in a box or closet or whatever - never to be seen again. Or it gets thrown away. Dumb. I hate souvenirs (unless they serve some actual purpose, which is pretty much never true). If anyone ever thinks about buying me one, thanks--that's very sweet--but save it. The best souvenir ever will ALWAYS be a picture (or a lot of pictures).

Don't be an inconsiderate jerk...

If there's only one cup holder available in the car, it is most courteous to let the DRIVER use it, since they don't have the free hands or concentration to hold theirs.

Miracle ICK

In a lot of cases, buying the off-brand is a great money saver and doesn't make much of a difference as far as taste or functionality is concerned. This is not the case with miracle whip. You might be tempted to buy the generic version, but that would be a mistake. Don't do it.

The Toilet Seat Issue

Guys, you must ALWAYS lift the toilet seat. This is indisputable. I don't care if you put it down or not. Just please, please, PLEASE lift it! I can pick my battles--I would rather put the seat down than have to sit on gross little pee dribbles. Sick.

"Guess what?! I just bought this awesome touch screen--" Say no more--I've already tuned you out

Touch screen anything is a really stupid buy. You think it's cool and it's fun to show off, but it will break and/or malfunction. Soon. Don't waste your money, idiot.