Miracle ICK

In a lot of cases, buying the off-brand is a great money saver and doesn't make much of a difference as far as taste or functionality is concerned. This is not the case with miracle whip. You might be tempted to buy the generic version, but that would be a mistake. Don't do it.

The Toilet Seat Issue

Guys, you must ALWAYS lift the toilet seat. This is indisputable. I don't care if you put it down or not. Just please, please, PLEASE lift it! I can pick my battles--I would rather put the seat down than have to sit on gross little pee dribbles. Sick.

"Guess what?! I just bought this awesome touch screen--" Say no more--I've already tuned you out

Touch screen anything is a really stupid buy. You think it's cool and it's fun to show off, but it will break and/or malfunction. Soon. Don't waste your money, idiot.